Hello there, I'm Deadpool. You could also call me Wade Wilson, The Merc with a Mouth, or That guy with the spots on his face and body. And no, I know what your going to ask, and you'd better not. I'll have you know everything is just fine down there.
You look confused. Surprised I'm talking directly to you, instead of being described in third person by some nerd? I don't roll that way. You see that fourth wall, the one that separates me from you? I break that wall with my mighty Kong fu chop!
My life is hard to describe, considering the fact that I know nothing about my former life. Hell, I'm pretty sure Wade Wilson ain't my real name. I think I jacked it of some dude or some shit. Well, we can blame our beloved Weapon X project for that, can't we? Fucking bastards, taking lives away like that. Who knows, maybe I learned something that is a mystery to me in this life back then. Like why nobody slapped that bitch from the Weakest Link back when she was in charge of the show.
Man, I love this sites policies. I can curse however fucking much I want and not get in trouble. Its like all my fucking world will rain down fire on me if I say "You're a dick" to Captain America. Oh, shit, I'm getting of topic.
So, sit down and gets something to drink, preferably Scotch so I can jack it, and lets learn the mysteries of me!