- "LOL DENIED"
- ―The words of many.
LOL DENIED was a saying used by many of the villains and superheroes across many of the cities of the world. Gotham City saw a lot of action from the LOL DENIED frontier, as did New York City. That's most likely because each one had their share of assholes (Here and here) who really needed to be DENIED. Wolverine had this idea that if he stood up and told someone to just bugger off, using his claws to emphasise the point, he could scream LOL DENIED as they walked away and not get punished for it. This was partially true, as said DENIED people were too scared shitless of his big, manly claws to do anything about it. But he still got punished from it, by some bald, senile, old bastard.
All the best superheroes and villains had this amazing ability to be able to just stand up and scream LOL DENIED having beaten the shit out of their enemies. In fact, this saying once became very, very popular amongst the inhabitants of the cartoon world, and Gotham City even went as far as to label it as an agent of anarchy, denounce it as a person masquerading as a phrase and arrest it, whilst locking it up in Arkham Asylum. Locking up a saying. Right. And they call the saying deranged and mentally twisted...
In Gotham CityEdit
The beginnings of LOL DENIED can actually be traced specifically back to the City of Gotham, and many believe that it was the Joker who was responsible for creating the saying. Seeing as the Joker was a bit of a crazy old bastard, it's most likely true. You see, when the Joker got his scars, he didn't shave them purposefully. Nor did he have them made by his father. Instead, he tripped and caught his mother on a tap which had been sharpened at a single point by a drop of rain wearing away the metal! Now, the Joker was very angry. He was so pissed that, with a swing of his arm, he punched the tap off the sink and sent it flying out an upper story window to land on a taxi to arrive at an airport to be checked in by a man with a white suit to be boarded onto a plane, to be attended on by air hostesses and eventually to arrive at Baghdadand be raped by a smelly little man wearing a sock cloth loin sack. And what did the Joker scream as he punched this tap off? Well, this was the birth of LOL DENIED, as the Joker gave a massive scream of LOL DENIED, and the tap was DENIED, (LOL) as I'm sure you'll agree.
Now, the Joker may have been the one to conceive this timeless and ancient saying, honed by years of practice and DENYING of knaves, but sitting on a sun lounger outside the house of the Joker was, in fact, Harley Quinn. Now, as did most inhabitants of Gotham, Harley Quinn had an obsession for spandex, and neglected to notice the true potential of LOL DENIED in her search for spandex, so she resolved to tell the Teen Titans about this new saying so that they might give her spandex. And so she did. She told the Teen Titans about the saying, and demanded spandex for her troubles. But the Teen Titans wanted a way to test out this new saying, so they told her to go away without her spandex, screaming LOL DENIED at her as she went. Cruel, yes, but that's just what Gotham City's all about. Besides, Duela Dent was with the Titans at the time, and we all know she's a cruel, firecrotch bitch. This actually started Harley Quinn down a career of villainy and abusement of the citizens of Gotham City, so we have LOL DENIED to thank for that. Thank God for LOL DENIED, eh?
After Harley Quinn started using this in her career, this soon moved on to being said by the Killer Moth and other such evil bastard villains, such as Clayface (who wasn't so much of an evil villain as a bastard), except with the Killer Moth it was more like: "L-*buzz*-O-*buzz*-L DEN-*buzz*-IED", so this was kind of mangled when he said it to his enemies. Still, the gist was good enough, eh? Baleman used it in his career a few times, and God said it to people as he religiously beat the shit out of them. But Dick Grayson didn't consider himself worthy enough to use the saying, as it made him extremely giddy and so he felt it must be so incredibly awesome that he shouldn't use it, and should instead conserve it. Still, he'd sometimes go looking for a bit of trouble just so someone could punch him in the face and scream LOL DENIED in his face. When filming The Dark Bat, Bateman punched the Joker out of an upper story window at the end and screamed this. But that fucking gobshite Christopher Nolan edited it out. Stupid, eh? Eventually, this saying became so rife in Gotham that they eventually outlawed it and named it as a person. They then arrested it and locked it up in Arkham Asylum. But people still said it, which led to many public enquiries as to how it had got out of it's cell and back into the minds and mouths of people like Harley Quinn. Yeah... and they call LOL DENIED strange and twisted...
- "LOL DENIED"
- ―Peter Parker to Doctor Octopus after getting his hands on Mary Jane Watson ahead of Octo.
When Duela Dent crossed continuities and jumped into the world of Spiderman, she brought LOL DENIED with her, for LOL DENIED cannot be DENIED (LOL) by anyone but itself. And if it doesn't want to DENY (LOL) itself then it can go anywhere. And so it went to New York. This was a good release for the villains and heroes of New York, as they'd got really bored of saying "The name's Man. Spiderman", paraphrasing James Bond. They had no originality, you see, and so raping another saying from another city from another continuity was perfect for them, meaning they could use it whenever they wanted. Not original, and not very fair, but Duela Dent let them. She let them do it to her. Hell, she let them do anythingto her. She was so desperate to see it in action that she taught it to Peter Parker and then dumped Octy the Octopus, so Peter could scream it at him. That'd be the only reason you'd turn down marrying a guy with metal arms, eh? Of course. So, from almost every point of view except his own, Octy had been DENIED. (LOL)
The Green Goblin took on this saying as his own, and would through pumpkins at anyone who said otherwise when he came to be a real villain of New York city. When going on mad rampages of mass pumpkin pipping, the Green Goblin would be able to scream LOL DENIED in the faces of his enemies, whilst ceaselessly throwing orange, pip filled goop (from pumpkins) into their faces. LOL (DENIED), eh? Sometimes these villains can be such evil bastards. Spiderman was one of the last to use it, but before we go over that, we must look at Kingpin and Sandman! (Oh Mr. Sandman, give me a dream...) Whilst in jail, fatboy Kingpin would shout that at his cell mates, whilst punching them in the face. When he got out of jail, the crime Empire he ran went under a motto, and that motto was LOL DENIED. All the good people of New York were DENIED (LOL) by Kingpin's organization, so it made perfect sense for LOL DENIED to be their motto, eh? And it looked pretty awesome too, and made people want to join the Kingpin bowling club. Wait... Kingpin's not to do with bowling? Aw, fuck, there goes my £20 for membership down the drain... Looks like I, in the truest sense of the phrase, have been LOL DENIED. Now I know how it feels...
Spiderman only picked up on this saying comparatively late in terms of the other inhabitants of New York city. Spiderman forgot about it after Mary Jane taught it to him, and only remembered it after the Green Goblin used it on him, which was a shame, really. Seeing men dressed as spiders jumping round cities screaming "LOL DENIED" is just so undeniably funny. But at least he did find it in the end, and at least, while beating the shit out of the evil villains of New York. Spiderman's Aunt even used this saying when she refused him access to the house when he had dirty spandex on. This used to piss off Spiderman, but only once did he punch her over and go into her house anyway, screaming "LOL DENIED". In the way he beat up female family members, Spiderman was kind of like Bale, except Bale didn't have the presence of mind to scream LOL DENIED in his mother's face. Probably because she was unconscious. Or because he didn't want to get twenty extra years in jail for saying the taboo phrase. LOL DENIED Bale.
- "LOL DENIED"
- ―Wolverine to whoever he was beating up at the time.
The X-men got their hands on the saying somehow. I'm not sure how, but they did. Probably when Wolverine went into one of his mad, animalistic bouts of rage that always saw someone lying on the floor bleeding afterwards (Madclaw can do that too) they screamed it at him just before they died. How ironic, seeing as they ended up dead. Perhaps it was because Spiderman and the X-men were in the same city. Somehow, LOL DENIED was not DENIED (LOL) when it swapped continuities again, and so it reached the world of the X-men. This meant that whenever Professor X told off his little school of
people he did odd things with superheroes he could scream LOL DENIED in their face. This also meant that hardcore motherfuckers like Wolverine could scream LOL DENIED in the faces of their enemies upon beating them senseless, as Wolverine did. This also meant, however, that the X-men soon had the problem that their enemies learnt the phrase themselves and began to use it on the X-men, so whenever they had Wolverine tied up in a big cage topless (like a real man), as always seems to happen in the X-men films, they could sit there and scream LOL DENIED at him all day long. Which is a punishment far, far worse than death.